come along for the ride
Continuing to tail-wag my dogself back into a good flow, I give thanks for the reprieve from caffeine. Specifically, I give thanks for the reprieve from the tyranny of habit. Spirit guided me to notice that my caffeine intake had climbed to at least 500mg/day between various drinks and pills; stubborn habit-clinger insisted this couldn't change. I give thanks for having been able to access the wisdom that so much caffeine is not bringing the specific results I desire and is very possibly doing harm. Taking so darn much, I feared the withdrawal. But this is day two of a much more moderate amount, and the withdrawal's as subtle as the caffeine itself had come to be.
Tolerance isn't necessarily a good thing. How much do we tolerate because it's slipped beneath the threshold of awareness?
paradox, retrograde, feedback loop
Until not too long ago, this blog comprised weekly "spells" formed of three posts showcasing a concept from my three angles of obsession and fascination. Of course, this wasn't saving the world or necessarily accomplishing anything important--or was it? At least it was some sort of momentum and shape.
Sometimes what looks like a finger-twirling dance is actually a planetary fecundation. I've witnessed conversations where the conversants were actually engaged in a jedi light-saber battle, which you'd only notice if you knew how to look. What looks like a plummet into oblivion might in fact be one erect wing of a beautiful bird, the low point its back, sending your eye running up the other wing. Sometimes the tail does wag the dog, or rather, sometimes if you smile and engage the smile muscles, the parts of your neurochemistry associated with things smileable start to kindle.
This post is my tail attempting to wag my dog.
what can be learned from personal mismanagement/misfortune
I gained a lot of weight in April. Over five pounds, over the big 90 for the first time in a couple years. More than I've gained inpatient at places that specialize in forcing people to gain weight.
The horrible irony: I was almost content. One of my scales said the "right number." I just wanted to lose two pounds so my other scale, which reads higher, would satisfy me too.
But this post isn't a pity party, nor is it a discussion about my weight. Having fallen into the weight-gaining dieter's oblivion, unable to look at what was going on, it's useful to put a spotlight on what happened.
The mechanism by which the diet pill involved facilitated weight gain might actually be helpful to other people in other contexts.
can you be crazy and know you're crazy?
I haven't put out the next post I'm writing in the series on satiety, physical and metaphorical.
I haven't finished the thoughts on transformation as momentum through critical mass rather than singleton skip from black to white.
Several collections I've promised to review languish in the basket of my guilt.
I haven't taken courage to publish my horrific "gained weight from a diet pill" story, although I think the story might well offer benefits: what said pill actually does might be useful in other contexts.
So, big failz, yes? This post is about why. Also, perhaps, about why I've more or less kept some of "it" together despite.
happy in(ter)dependence day!
This is going to be another metaphor post. Something I've been musing on for a while that, eyeballed the right way, metaphored appropriately, fits perfecly into the Independence Day discourse.
Sometimes you have to hold onto something in order to let something go.
Independence day? Or inTERdependence?
As reclusive as I'm drawn to be, no man, or woman, or alien-girl, is an island. Sure, I live alone, but I wouldn't be putting this out into the ether if you weren't there waiting to read it. Yes, I do mean you. Meanwhile, I've been wretched of late over a scenario involving the scale, of which I may share more soon. And the accretal couldn't have happened were there no exchange of materials between myself and my environment. And on a different level of interdependence, I'd be handling the situation far less well were I not able to talk with my mom about it.
But back to the "hold on in order to let go."
the food reward hypothesis is bogus
In his article discussed in the previous post, Dr Christianson recommends plain, boiled, cooled potatoes as the most effective "hunger blocker." It's important to recognize that this article can't be taken in isolation and must be seen in the functional medicine/paleo discourse in which it was written, no matter how mainstream an audience he's reaching for.
To which point, as I already hinted, you can't mention plain, boiled, cooled potatoes without bringing up the food reward hypothesis and the concept of resistant starch (separate but related).
context is key; please compare like with like
A well-respected and charming functional medicine doctor, Dr Alan Christianson, recently published an article about satiation in the context of (implicitly calorie-restricted) dieting for weight loss. After running through a few studies purporting to show that the foods you might expect to be satiating are not so, he settles on potatoes--but not chips or fries, mind you--as the most satiating food, and crowns his article with a "recipe": boiled salted potatoes, cooled and finished with a little olive oil.
Now it's not clear to me if the brief research survey is mere preamble to the drumroll recipe or if the recipe is mere rider to the 'shocking research findings,' nor what sort of naive audience is intended here, but there are so many things about this article that seem so wrong to me, it'll probably take two posts. Let's get started.